cks

The severest punishment anyone could give him was to ask him to wake up early, or just wake up anytime from his deep slumber. He was the last one to reach office, and most of the time his students waited for him in his class.

Extremely sharp in his domain, he was quick witted, philosophical, and loved smoking. Once in a year he had difficulty in keeping away from cigarette for over 13 hours, for 40 days in a row. The first thing he took after breaking his fast was his Marlboro lights!

God forgot to inject the 'urgency' fluid in his body. Anything any situation, he would not get perturbed. That’s another thing that all 'not working' tasks were addressed and fixed satisfactorily. He was the most experienced in the office and often acted as a coach. I think complex scenarios challenged his thinking ability. Though he knew a lot, unlike other teachers he would not dump his students, and me, with too much info.

Once he had found a solution of sending automated emails to different users when some xls file was updated, he was elated and like subai wanted to get back to work and refine it further. And that was the time I was struggling with memorizing HTML tags!

Observing my struggle as a teacher, he once commented that only people who have interest in reasoning and logic should continue in the domain we were part of. I got the hint, and when my assignment was over, I did not accept the next two years extension. He, as much as I, must have been relieved of the torture I went thorough of teaching, and his equal torture of teaching me!

The best times we had with him was while watching 'nice' movies using office projector. His comments on the ongoing acts used to make us just laugh uncontrollably. His running commentaries while watching Egyptian movies were hilarious. There was but little entertainment for 7 bachelors in a villa!

His prized possession was a brand new DELL laptop which he bought for some 600+ dinars. We watched loads of movies on it ignoring the till then the indispensable TV and VCR in the living room.

I realize we all know so little about him: his childhood, schooling, college, other jobs, friends, and family. While he enjoyed listening to whatever crap we told him, he never shared anything with us. Not that he had a terrible past, but because of laziness to talk much J That’s again a guess!

We played table tennis - where I always lost; cricket - of which I knew nothing. He would quiz me on cricketers, and their nationality. He never asked about Kapil Dev, Tendulkar, or Gavaskar. He also encouraged me to play cricket in the living room and also made me practice on catching the cricket ball - yes, I still cannot catch a ball :-) he asked me a simple yet profound question - "didn't your dad play with you catch-catch when you were a kid."

I used to be quite aggressive, not that I have stopped being aggressive. He had lots of patience. But one day he lost it and I learnt a lesson when he said, 'your family may be used to your tantrums and bossing around, we are not your family.' And I was speechless, because that was absolutely true. Thanks for that lesson S.

Money, and importantly contributing, was never a problem for him. We went for bowling at Seef with his student and I am sure he must have liked my performance in at least this sport. Actually, rolling a ball is not a big deal than throwing it or catching it!

He knew I liked music, I never saw him excited about any song, and I assumed I had the best knowledge on western music at least. On one occasion when he came to my room where I was playing some CD, he surprised me by saying the singer was Jim Reeves. I had never thought he would know such a name, let alone the song. I told him it was Pat Boon. He just smiled and said he had been listening to that song since his childhood. He left and I jumped out of my bed and checked the singer. He was right, and I was embarrassed. Two adages knocked my mind – never judge a book by its cover, and still water runs deep! I don’t think I would have played that CD again while he was around!

All in all, he has been a wonderful company, and a good human being. Harm no one types – he is like a bull who mindless of anyone keeps munching – that’s even when you dance in front of him or try to shoo him away! Bad example I know J

Since most of the time we indulged in bachelor’s talk, I have to cut short this piece here. Some things are best to be remembered then documented J

Thanks S for the HTML, Javascript, and VB solutions ;-) actually thanks to AB, AC, and Hari Prasad.

on Subai... random thoughts

Subai is what his family and college/school friends address him as. We address him as Abhy.

The first thing that I remember about this guy is the sweet way he used to say ‘vishal bhai’. He was the quietest of all, and perhaps second to shabab in patience. In fact, I rarely saw him violently angry. It’s not in his nature. He would not deny anything if anyone asked for it: his time, money, or advice. At 3 when we used to reach office after siesta to practice for the next class or importantly to browse, I used to bug him by asking solutions to the questions that the students could ask. I never focused on the logic, I wanted solutions. Isn’t it true for so many of us, we want a comfortable, everything laid out, life. And this guy would sit and learn different things.

I vividly recall how happy he was when he had succeeded in creating a small chat application using xml or some crap language. I was happy to see him beaming with a smile, and next moment he was back at the keyboard refining the application. For me, learning how to write ‘Dim A as Integer’ was a feat in itself, or even revisiting the javascript code that Shabab provided me as solution to ‘displaying the one to five star’ question!

I still have regret; I could not teach Oracle to Abhy [subai] though he kept on asking me about the same.

We were talking about college life one day. The discussion begun when I asked him if he required wearing glasses all the time and he told me that he wore it even when he used to bathe in open in the hostel. That’s because while bathing when someone would call him, he would not recognize people by their voice… or something like that.

In his college he/others were a lousy lot. When the bed sheet used to become dirty, they used to reverse and use it. Same with socks! Though he did not tell me about other things, I hope during winter season they did not reverse the shirts and wear sweaters on top!
Subai is a favorite of most of his relatives. When he was in Calcutta, he would make it a point to visit almost all his relatives. I wondered what pleasure he would derive meeting everyone, and here I was, avoided my lot and at time wanted everyone to just perish ;-)

Amusing incidents which we laughed on and shared:

• Occasionally Abhy would start chanting "हरे रामा हरे कृष्णा, कृष्णा कृष्णा हरे हरे!"
• He would invariably start his conversation with a ‘हाँ भाई’
• He strictly believed in the adage, ‘एक तीर से दो निशाने’ in his case it was multiple निशाने, does anyone remembers his “Me Too”? He certainly believed and practiced on sharing objects… or in this case sharing the same messages with everyone – maintaining consistency!
• One day, while walking towards office from Villa, Abhy very hesitatingly said, ‘एक बात बोलूं विशाल भाई, बुरा नही मन्ना, अपना बेल्ट तोंद के ऊपर बंधा करो, नीचे जाता है तौ आप मोटे लगते हो!” I follow his advice till date.
• Abhy’s ‘का’ I still remember and laugh about it whenever I see a vehicle with Karnataka registration.
• Then there’s one incident when we all were about to start a ‘nice’ movie using the projector in the master bedroom when Abhy asked us to stop, and then addressing Anshi said in a serious tone, “हाँ भाई, याद रहे पायजामा मेरा पहना है तुमने, कुछ होना नही चाहेये.” And then he said, “स्टार्ट किया जाये!”
• The other day while walking to work in the peak summer season, Abhy kept on grumbling about the scorching sun and the humidity. I got irritated and told him that it was all in his head, “don’t think about it and you won’t feel it.” Promptly he said, “आहाहाहा, कितना ठंडा है , बरफ गिर रहीए है!”

Abhy sings quite well. Though few, yet he has enthralled us with good songs from the movies. I remember how he and I used to listen to audio cassettes of Rabindra Sangeet in his master bedroom, and also Gulzar’s Mirza galib, and Jagjit & Chitra Singh’s collection.

His rapport with his students was excellent. Neena Gopalan came to meet us all when she was leaving Middle East to settle down back home in Bangalore. Then there was another one whose name I don’t recall.

I always felt this guy could easily be tricked into something by anyone. People borrowed money and would not return, and he would feel embarrassed to bring up the topic with those people. And then people became parasites. But good sense prevailed, and our Abhy was a better man later ;-)

The best time with him was when he used to tell about Rabindranath Tagore – that he has written songs/poems on almost everything: love, hate, passion, compassion, relationships, and every mood and melody. He would often translate the rabindra sangeet for me. Those were the moments when it seemed he was pulled back to the land where he belongs to. Sometimes even the best written word by the author are not as appealing as the ones in which another person translates or explains what the author would have felt… it was similar to something like that when Abhy explained.

Abhy fell ill and had to be operated. He was in Salmania for quite some time. That was quite a bad experience. Every experience leaves behind some memories and some learning. Abhy realized few, and would talk about them, albeit in brief. We could not feel his grief. We were not aware would be good to admit. I can now relate to his situation where one feels an urge to talk to a close one, but everyone seems so far and aloof. But time flies, and it’s always good to remember, “जो गुज़र गयी , व्हो कल के बात थी, उम्र तौ नही , सिर्फ़ एक रात थी.”

Abhy invited me to attend his wedding just a day before the wedding, and the wedding was in WB, some 1300 kms away from Bangalore. I will remember this Abhy, and revenge is due – I have not changed a wee bit.

in a class beyond compare

Whenever we talk on phone or in person, his discussion almost always turns to girls – just anyone, chicks, girls, aunties, or just any damn girl. This is not new; this is his chronic problem—ever since I first got to know him. At first it was in college, then in news on them from the school where he worked, new city he relocated to, and almost from anywhere he had a chance to check-out, talk or work with them.

College: yes, those were the days when everyone indulges in silly talks. So while I was not that vocal and descriptive in my thought-uttering them, he wasn’t shy at all. We had a code name for most of them. It helped when we used to talk about them using the codes in front of his professor uncle in whose house he stayed. When we used the CM or DM code, the professor of Sociology would think we were talking about some chief minister or district magistrate – he must have also thought we were talking about them in context to our political science lessons.

He spoke to them in college, while leaving for home from college, and even went to their house to share or copy notes. He would give me all the details. I would be awed by his guts. But when he spoke about this girl I had a major crush on, the one from Waverly Convent Mussoorie, I wanted to bash him. But I thought it wise to pretend being ignorant and just listen to him, though I also thought of camouflaging the object of discussion. But he had minute details of everyone and of everything.

On valentine day’s eve, we went to buy cards for few girls. O, by the way, he wanted to give, and he wanted me to select the best ones. Next day, along with her friend the Waverly girl came to me in a pretty upset and angry mood. She kept the card in my hand and inquired why in the first place I even imagined she would accept it from me. In milliseconds I was tomato red! When she was through with her charge, I opened my notebook and asked her to compare the two hand writings. She apologized and felt embarrassed. I still thought she was not convinced. I cursed for myself being in his company.

This guy did not turn up for next two days. And I skipped my favorite teacher’s class because I did not wanted to face the Waverly dame. The culprit returned and I saw him chit chatting with the Waverly girl along with numerous others. He always had tricks to renter a no entry zone. This time he shared some Xerox copies of some crap guide which he assured is being used to draft the Part II question paper. Girls jump on notes and hoard everything that may remotely have any reference to whatever is part of syllabus.

This guy had the knack of making other girls jealous and at the same time desiring him – in whatever way. I appeared more like his tag along whereas I thought the opposite – each guy during college days thinks no end of himself. I was under that illusion. But there were facts attached to this illusion: I could quickly jot down notes that the teachers rattled off, most people in college did not had English as their first language at school level, so they relied on him to get my notes and share with them [I came to know about it quite late]. I bought almost all the books on English literature which were Xeroxed and circulated, I spoke English with teachers of English literature – and that’s amusing, isn’t it! I also had enough money for both of us to spend some time in the canteen, where he thought he enthralled everyone with his velvety or nightingale like voice.

During college time, I never believed when he told me about his secret meetings with Tina, Mina, Bubbly and others. But once in a while when I used to observe him talking to them, I had doubts – maybe he was actually doing it. If he was closer to any one, I used to be far away from him. Not realizing people would not see me, but him.

Teachers were not spared either. Few incidents so I am not elaborating. But this guy had guts, and tact, tricks, and a never die spirit.

Once he did not show up for around two weeks. I went to the professor’s house. I was told that he had gone to meet his parents. He was back with some more stories about his short stint with his neighbors. I cared less now. Later he told me that someone’s uncle had threatened him and that was another cause of his absence.

Not that other guys did not vie for these girls, but he always had the upper hand. Girls watched him play basket ball. During that time I used to talk to some teacher in either the history or political science department. I always had so many doubts to clarify. One of the teachers avoided me. With absolutely no interest in 10 people chasing a ball to drop it in a hole with net, I used to just walk out of the college – to Maheshwari Sweet Shop for an aloo or puff samosa.

Life changes for all or all change in life, but this guy’s vision and mission in life has always been clear. We moved out of college, to different cities, were in touch through mails and phone, and I got to hear more juicy and real to believe stories. I had not changed in one domain at least. But this guy could write encyclopedia on everything about the fairer sex.

We met again, and this time his focus was on my experiences with befriending God’s best creation [according to him]. I had none, but call it peer pressure or male ego of not to be understood inferior than any other male, I cooked up stories for him. But in such matters, truth walks out with ease. So I guess he knew, but was sensible enough not to point out the incorrect technical details. Whatever, despite his being out of this world in this arena, I never loathed him. It’s his life after all, and friends come in all shapes and sizes.

He lives to this day in his own world. He does what he wants. He reminds me that applying skills is much better, and maybe useful, than having bookish knowledge. Or better to say; desire to do but lack of courage.

14th Feb 1997

He and I met at the NIIT education center in Dehra Doon. This was 1991-2. It was in SEM II we started talking and discovered we two were the only quiet ones in a batch of 18 odd guys. We both had a crush on our faculty and also on Susan – this is what we revealed when were comfortable enough to call each other pals. We wondered how she got into those black tights – you see, neither were we aware of too many western outfits [except for jeans and t-shirts] nor we had seen anyone more hip-hop than Susan!

He visited my home and I also met his parents. His father and he were watching cricket and during the breaks his father inquired everything about who his son called his new friend. His mother reminds me of Bharti Achrekar – the TV serial artist.

In SEM III he moved out of NIIT and joined HMT Bhopal. We wrote letters to each other and shared the good and bad in life. I do not recall what was so specific that we discussed, but waited for each other’s snail mails. He wrote to me about his ragging – how all guys were asked to strip and run like a railway compartments, one after the other, holding, ahem – I mean the bogies had to have a connecting link.

There’s so little of what I know about his professional life. I mean except that he works in the hotel, has worked in Delhi, Chandigarh, maybe Baroda, Bangalore, and now in Pune.

I showed him the mystical sites in Dehra Doon: Robber’s cave, Bijapur canal, and others. He used to be fascinated and listened intently to whatever little I told him about Vinita and my other female friends. He once requested me if I could befriend him with one of them.

Being from a small town, and born in a non-aggressive environment, he has always been a man of patience. Quite reserved, his USP is his smile and gentleman charm – I should have guessed he was destined for the hospitality line.

He is married to an equally charming and composed person. They lived in Baroda for some time and now they decided to retire there once they say adieu to working life.

We did not meet in Delhi even when he was there on six month training. Than on 13th Feb 1997 we met. That day I picked him from Noida and we did not sleep until 5 in the morning. He proposed we start a restaurant business together, in Dehra Doon. We discussed each and every detail of how it would be, how we would expand, what would be the USP, and other details. Our outlet would be above the Vegetarian restaurant in Ashley Hall. My mother would help us with legal matters, and finances would be arranged somehow – these were included in the discussion.

At around 1-2 am, when we had decided on our partnership, we thought of celebrating. I pulled out my sister’s car from the parking in Lajpat Nagar, and we headed to the Oberoi’s near Golf Course.

The coffee shop was empty – and there wasn’t even a waiter to take order. We sat near a large window overlooking the empty swimming pool. It had a blue yellow hue—blue because of the tiles, and yellow was the sodium lamp’s effect. It was Delhi winter and the glass pane had mist. Everything seemed just so perfect. The tables had maroon and white linen with patterns of small checks. The tables with the cutlery and other items were ready for people to occupy in the morning. I don’t exactly remember, but either the lights in the coffee shop were dim, or we had just a single lamp glowing on top of our table.

The waiter took our order of two coffees. While we were waiting for our coffee to arrive, he explained me how tables are placed in coffee shops – what are covers; who are captains; how chefs or people in the kitchen and the waiters share the tips they receive from the customers. There was a small cup which had sachets of sugar – white and brown, and he explained me what brown sugar was – I don’t remember the difference now.

Coffee arrived, and he had a brief conversation with the waiter [I use the word waiter but this person may be a captain or any other high/low ranking server]. In our enthusiasm, he told the waiter about our new deal and that we were there to celebrate. When we asked for the bill, the waiter simply replied, “on the house sir.” We tried giving him a tip, he did not accept. We felt he was with us in our celebration.

While we were leaving we saw the crew of Air France having their breakfast. There were some 8-9 tall guys and ladies who were up for their early morning flight. That’s when I observed a bun which looked like a crab – which he told me was a croissant. I still cannot pronounce it.

Back home, we slept and then I dropped him back to his sister’s house in Noida. While getting down he told me he would soon resign from his job, and that I should just think about this new venture.

I think within two months time I received his letter informing me that he had resigned from his job and was on notice period. In return I informed him about my inability to go ahead with the partnership. After that I received a couple of his mails, but there was no mention of our dream. This made me a little uncomfortable.

I left for Middle East, he got married, and our communication dwindled. We called each other to wish on birthdays – just two days in a year.

I was back in Delhi in Oct 2005 and met him and his wife. She addressed me as bhaiya, and there’s so much genuineness and originality in whatever they say or talk about. They are, after all, from a small town! I wanted to tell him why I had dropped my plan, and also to apologize, but I could not talk. He was so warm and as always friendly that I could not mention the topic. I kept quite.

He met Dimpy in Bangalore, and she too found him a down to earth person. She told me she thought she was talking to me when interacting with him. “Just as sober and straight forward person like you.” Poor girl, she has not had a chance to observe the changes of professional life on her brother!

Vinay is and will remain etched in my memory as one of the best person in my life.

a friend called anshuman...

anshuman called up at 00:45 hrs to convey the good news. arpita and he were blessed with a baby boy at 10:15pm India time, 10th jan.

when i saw anshi and abhi in our zinj villa sometime in late december 2000, i was willing to share my room with him - not that i had an option of keeping anyone away from my room. he appeared to be a very calm and relaxed person. abhy on the other hand appeared too boring and typical bong [no offence]. looks can be deceptive is what i later realized.

for the next 6-7 months, i despised anshi. he was a problem creator in every sense: loud, talkative, careless, and always upto something mischievous. he would leave the door ajar while AC was running, he was quite vocal if something did not happen the way it should have been, he called up people late night, he would not eat his food in 15 minutes - 1.5 hrs was okay for him. he was a cricket fanatic, and we always used to fight. i think we both enjoyed fighting and always looked for an opportunity to just pull each other. and yes, we used to fight to sit in the front seat of the car with idrees our pakistani transport minister!

i got along quite well with abhi. he was quite and calm, with a wonderful and refined sense of humor. we shared good times talking about friends and family, future plans and other trivia. not that i was the only one in anshi's hit list - there were others too.

anshi bought a cd player and i used it judiciously - i used to play MSS's suprabhatam every morning, and he would really get bugged up. he would crane his neck from the bedsheet that he used to cocoon himself into and yell, "what happened to this lady, she's just repeating few words, is there a chicken bone stuck in her throat." And i would just fume.

his undying love for non-veg was quite visible when he used to be upset with our cook devender. reason, "आज साले ने चिक्केन नही बनाया!" he wouldn't have mind if we had given him a complete goat to devour!

one thing for which i took an immediate dislike for him was his songs, importantly the revised lyrics of popular songs -

ओ ओ जाने जाना,
खाना तुझे है खाना,
रोज़ तू veg खाये,
आज नॉन-veg खाना!

सोल्जर सोल्जर, सारे कपरे खोल कर,
बीच सड़क पर बैठ गया!

खाना खाया और पानी पिया or something like that!

and then his umpteen stories about his days in UPtech, lucknow. How his peon served ras-malai in glasses used for having tea. his friends tabrez and so many others. but gradually we started enjoying his antics. at least there was some fun.

from the beginning he proved to be one of the best faculty in terms of knowledge and his ability to conduct classes with no complaints from the students [there were 4 complaints against me]. he was my teacher. as in, i learnt visual basic, javascript, HTML [can you believe that], and MS Access from him. always helpful and humane. i remember when no one else visited abhy in salmania hospital, he used to daily, without fail, walk upto his ward and spend time with him. Nearly for 20-30 days. i visited salmania twice only. no one else bothered to go there. i don't know about others, but i am averse to visiting hospitals [and abhy, i am not clarifying].

full of energy, this man walked fast. he used to walk from zinj to manama or adlia almost every three four days [a distance of just 5/3 kms respectively]. to a sprinter or an ordinary human being this may not be 'quite a distance' but you should also factor in the scorching heat of middle east.

we derived some kind of pleasure pulling our counselor's leg. and he used to be quite good at it. someone who could say nasty things in a good way. or even if it was not so, he would just laugh it off. for many a things he did not carry any grudge.

we had great fun narrating incidents with the 'bonta man'. and the interpretation of local news on bahrain tv. talking about students and the wonderful grasping power they had! he never approached me to check how his students scored in exams when i used to validate their papers. there was absolutely no hitch in asking him any query for which i had no solutions. he just dived deep into the problem.

his kid side was also quite evident - especially with his umpteen pranks. and yet this guy was not just all fun and funny. he had a softer side as well. nothing about it here, but i guess that's when we bonded. being a roomie was fun then. we had endless discussions on various issues, and his analytical skills were quite amazing.

he stayed on, and is still in the middle east. we continued communication after i left the geography and settled in India. met him once in delhi when he was on vacation.

in nov 2004 he got married to arpita. they make a good couple. i was in bangalore that time and attended his wedding in bandel, and then the reception in kolkatta's golf green area. his folks are quite warm people and not for even a moment i felt as an outsider. his elder sister who would be atleast 4-6 yrs younger than me thought that i was of his age and very sweetly spoke to me in the same ways she spoke to him. even on telling her that i was older than her, she had that elder sister's affection towards me. i also became quite pally with her bua whose first question when she met me was when was i getting married. had i been in touch with her, i am sure by this time i would have been married to a bong girl!

his bua arranged for a guest house accommodation for me and his other friends. the wedding was fantastic and i captured the moment in my camera. the reception in golf green area was also quite memorable.

each one of us respect and care for our parents, but this man is amazing. the credit also goes to arpita who has won the heart of her inlaws. his parents now hop between bahrain, indore, and sometimes lucknow. it feels good when he tells me that ma and baba are with him in bahrain. and here i am, haven't spoken to my mom asking her to visit chennai ;-)

so ARYAN was born on 10th Jan 2009 at 10:15 in Bandel. I wish they have a wonderful future and a satisfying life.

Everyone should have a friend like anshi - it makes life so much fun. And now something which only Idrees, Shabab, Sanil, Abhi, Mona, Kawther, Sameera, Devender, Luma, and Mr Joel can can understand and relate to - Layyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

God bless Aryan, Arpita, and Anshuman.

we may not meet again...

while talking to a friend today, she suddenly said, 'do you realize, we may not meet again...' my immediate response was why not, but within fractions of seconds i realised she was right.

memory perfect

three kids running around in blue, green, and one in no underwear! they jumped and hopped and each one smeared sand on their body. one rolled on the burning sand and the two dived on him and for a while i saw kid wrestlers. then they got up and jumped into the sea. from where i was, i could just see their little heads with the body not visible because of the slope which leads to the water. they were back, water shining on their dark bodies. they threw themselves on sand, rolled, stopped talking, and then i waited for their next action. by this time i observed i wasn't the only spectator, a black and off white colored dog also joined me. the boys got up, two of them buried the third one's feet in the sand and then threw sand on his crotch, he yelped, and chased the other two, and boxed them, and the next moment they were pals again! they sat one behind the other in a row and sand bathed each other :-) i could not see their dark bodies anymore, except for the neck and face, and they ran and jumped again in the water.

some years later in life, when one of them, or i hope all of them, visit this spot, they will remember the gleeful time they spent here. it's so important to have such friends, and such fun, and such memories!

i forgot to carry my cell today, else would have captured them in a video. but what i saw today is already etched in my mind - it's memory [not picture] perfect :-)

She...

she has the right word for everything
she says the right thing at the right time
she makes me laugh uncontrollably when i am with her
she makes me laugh and smile when i think of all that she has said
she's sensible, intelligent, inquisitive, naughty, kiddish, and simple
she's charming and loveable
she's never jealous of anyone, just not at all
she's meticulous in whatever she does
she's social and friendsly
she respects every individual
she's emotional about small little things [yes, she is a girl after all :-)]
she never nurses a grudge
she scolds me when i have done anything wrong [i am scared of her at times]
she wants to be someone someday [and i am sure that day isn't far away!]
she has a wonderful smile
she gives good, logical, and practical advice [or is it advise :-)]
she is strong and mature
she means the world to me