19 Jan 1996

i reached the interstate bus stand with him, and with my luggage - a pitthu bag, one briefcase, and a big suitcase. she had not reached. "girls are always late" is what i thought. after waiting for 10 mins, i drove to her house and together we arrived at the stand.

he identified the best seats for us and helped us adjust the luggage under the seat and on the overhead rack, and then i forced him to leave. i didn't wanted him to come anyways.

it was an ordinary bus we boarded and did not speak much during the first 3 hour of our journey. i am not sure if it was because of the different 'us together' or because of the extreme. i remember her wearing a maroon sweater and a thick shawl.

our bus broke down near muzzaffarnagar. we got down with our luggage. it was a foggy 9 am and few would have ventured out even for a tea break had the bus stopped near a roadside dhaba.

luckily we found few seats in another bus. we got in and occupied whatever seats were available. she got a seat in the middle of the bus, and i found one near the driver. the physical distance for the next four hours was just like the mental one. occasionally we would check on each other, with simple expressions.

we reached the destination and took an auto in a still foggy weather. i dropped her where she and i thought she would be safe; asked her to take care of herself, and then when i saw him i left after a cold handshake - it was not because of the weather.

i thought i left behind something precious. not sure of the future. of his, her, and importantly, mine.