England...

What are the first three things which come into your mind when you hear the words 'England' or the English?

This is a question that I came across in a website detaining info on British Life and Culture. There are many interesting responses listed there: Sarcasm; Men dressed in formal suits and hat; Bull-dog type beer (that’s the shape of the glass); Bad weather; double-decker red bus and the most amusing one, "A lot of folks overseas think that the English are crazy about dogs and love them more than their kids!"

I have liked the double-decker buses of London; the Hyde Park; interestingly the Holborn tube station [for no reason whatsoever]; Harrods; Kensigton Palace; Changing of Guards; and Tower of London. Thames was muddy and was more like Ganga!

I was traveling on this red tourist bus which had a group of people from assorted countries. This was in Cambridge. Our guide, a lady with a face akin to a wrinkled apple, asked few of us about our nationality and was engaged in a brief chit-chat with a couple who were her fellow countrymen, and were on this trip mainly to visit their Alma mater, where they met and married some decades back. As the last seat of the bus received its occupant, the bust started to move. The wrinkled apple then started briefing us on the different buildings and colleges we all drove past.

I was quite happy and lost in my thoughts while marveling the buildings and other areas when the bus slowed down and pointing to a building left or right, she announced in her mic, “…and this is the college whose Master received the Nobel Prize last year.” Pointing to me she said, “…our friend from India will tell us his name as the Nobel winner is from his country...” I am not sure if people were looking at me; I know I was looking down. I am sure in those nano –second, between her asking the question and my response, my face changed from coral red to crimson to scarlet before I admitted, “…I cannot recollect her name.” Not only I was unaware of the person’s name or gender, I was also ignorant of the fact that an Indian received such a prestigious recognition in the field of economics. “Shame!” was what she said just as Ms Chopra my economics teacher would have said. I am glad we did not cross those colleges where Indira Gandhi or Rajiv Gandhi studied!

I am glad they have this hop-in hop-off/out bus services. I was the only one who got down near the Cambridge American Cemetery and Memorial. I thought it safe to be amongst the dead then the living souls who would be wondering why I could not remember the Nobel winner.

Back in the main Cambridge city I went on a solo walking tour, with absolutely no clue of which road or lane lead to where I managed to see most of the famous colleges and institutes. The most memorable site was when I discovered the old couple in the bus posing for a picture in front of some statute within the compound of their old college.

In London

I saw a young couple smooching and I almost stood there transfixed, I mean, I was just a yard away and not watching this on TV. Dimpy was a little ahead and when she looked back, she pulled me and laughed till we reached our hotel.

I was early outside the Buckingham palace to witness the changing of guards. There were hundreds like me who were ready with their cameras. It happened, and it was amazing. The horse-mounted police ensured anxious tourists maintained a distance from the bearskin guards. Once this was over, I sat near a statue opposite to the palace when this drunk unkempt man started talking, "do you know, the queen is not in the palace." I was curious and wondered if as a commoner how he knew or if he had read the paper and knew she was overseas. "When the flag is on the top most point of the pole, she's in. When it's in the middle of the pole, she is out." "...and when it is at the bottom, it's some kind of mourning" I said. "No!" he almost shouted. "That never happens." I was offended and also alarmed because of the sudden raise in his otherwise feeble voice. Anyway, his purpose of sharing that gyan with me was to ask for some money. I just walked away.

I don't remember which museum it was, but it had loads of big wall size pictures all over, and few on the ceiling, just as in Louvre.

What amused me at the Kensigton Palace museum was the radio set they gave the tourist. This provides a running commentary on the history of the specific room where the tourist is and all trivia. I am sure this type of gadget will not work in India. No one would have the patience to listen so much about a room, the dresses displayed, the bed where someone died etc. Or maybe it will have to be customized as our elearning courses are, for pro-level or low-level audience!

Tower Of London was quite fascinating, especially the little chapel inside it. The tour guides there are dressed as Yeomen Warders, and deliver their tour lectures rather fast. Perhaps making quick bucks and talking to as many groups as possible in a day. The best part was when the guide who was leading my group explained everything and towards the end walked to the entrance of the chapel and extended his hand for a tip while people walked out and gave him whatever chillar they were carrying. I did not oblige. I was on a budget holiday after all. He would have cursed me as next I stumbled near a cordoned off area and I heard the guide saying loud, be careful many have been executed in the exact spot where I had lost my balance!

This guide told an amusing story to the tourists. There's this place where a royal was executed and post that someone realized that as per custom, they had forgot to draw his portrait before beheading him. So his head was sewn to his body and a portrait was made. Later, looking at that portrait people in general commented as if it was a portrait of someone dead. This was actually true. Perhaps the artist was not versatile to make dead look like a rejuvenated royal!

I never entered Harrods. I wasn't in a mood to shop!